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I love the postman

Hello sweetpeas!

Hope you all had a beautiful Thanksgiving. I loved hearing about your family traditions and memories… sounds like you Americans definitely know how to celebrate ;)

I’ve been having quite negetive thoughts for the past few days. I’ve gained about 2 lbs in the past 3 weeks, which logically I know is a good step in the right direction, but now I can’t shake off the expected uncomfortable ”fat” feelings that always come with weight gain, and ED keeps telling me that now I’ve gained at last I can’t be sick any more and I can stop gaining. That those 2lbs have suddenly made me healthy and I no longer look underweight.

Having gone for so long feeling positive and motivated in recovery, these negetive feelings and thoughts have hit me pretty hard, and I’m really struggling to cope with them. I keep trying to rationalise with myself that I’m not done yet, and still have a lot left to gain, but ED is so loud at the moment, my efforts are all in vain.

I’m trying hard not to act on these thoughts though. Slipping now will cause nothing but further problems, and I have so much to lose! I don’t mean weight when I say that, I mean all my future plans and dreams. They are too precious for me to give up, and I need to keep reminding myself of these to stay motivated.

My mum (and treatment team) desperately want me to get to a healthy weight before I start uni at the beginning of February. I’ve been set an intial target weight to reach by then thats a good 15-20lbs higher than what I am now, and quite honestly it just seems too scary to even contemplate. It would make my mum so happy to see me reach that weight, and I know she would be so reassured about me moving half way across the world if she knew my health was at a better place, but I just can’t convince myself thats what I want. I’m scared if I go to uni at a weight I’m not comfortable with, I’ll relapse straight away and my dream will come to an ubrupt end. Or is this just ED talking? I don’t know any more, I find it so difficult to differentiate between Hannah’s voice and ED’s voice. They seem to be merging into one.

At the same time, the voice is telling me “it doesn’t matter you’ve gained a bit of weight this month – you can just lose it all when you get to UCT anyway.” These thoughts are scaring the sh*t out of me. I would be so easy to lose weight at uni, away from my parents, my doctors, my caring friends, in an environment where I can eat what I want (or don’t want) and have unlimited access to the gym.

Am I ready for all this freedom?

How do I discipline myself not to abuse these privileges I’m being trusted with?

I’m sorry this post sounds so negetive, I’ve just been full of emotions recently and need somewhere to let them out. And I could really do with any advice or experience you guys have if you wish to share. I hate that I’m doubting my strength in my recovery and constantly second guessing myself, but I think its better that I address all these worries now rather than later.

****

On a more positive note, the postman (who is turning into a good friend of mine, due to my family’s ridic addiction to internet shopping :P ) had the most delightful surprise for me this morning…

A parcel from my fabulous little dancer Jee! I cannot tell you how much this brightened my day – I couldn’t stop smiling! This divine package included a lovely long letter that truly touched my heart, a pecan lara, coffee jocolat (cannot WAIT to try!) a pomegranate and plum “re bar”, my first ever clif bar ! in peanut toffee buzz flavour, and a gorgeous key necklace that has the word “stregth” written on it, which was just what I needed to read today! Seriously this girl is too amazing, her thoughtfulness has left me speechless. Thank you my angel! Your beautiful spirit was carried with through with this parcel, and has made such a difference to my mood today :) How lucky I am to have met such amazing people through blogging! I don’t know what I would do without you all.

Ok I’ll leave it there before I get too mushy :P I hope you all had a good week, and enjoy the start to your weekend! I have lots of antics planned to keep my mind and body busy in an attempt to distract myself from these negetive feelings.

Feeling Better :)

Happy hump day sweetpeas!

First of all I want to thank you all for your lovely get well wishes! I am delighted to report that today I’m actually starting to feel better! Despite the howling wind and rain thats pelting down on our roof making the most horrific noise (gotta love english weather…) I’m in a wonderful mood today, if somewhat exhausted after my day yesterday…

After being dragged out of bed (literally) by my mum at some unseemly hour, we spent the day walking all over London. I LOVE this city! One of my fave places in the UK for sure. Its just one of those places that buzzes around you, and the atmosphere is almost contagious.

We had our appointment with the Embassy in the morning, where we paid £600 for my study permit only to be told afterwards that I didn’t actually need one, I could just apply for a South African passport and get a temporary passport in the mean time – even though I’d been told that the passport wouldn’t be ready in time for me to start uni, so there was no point in applying for one! South Africans are not exactly famous for their efficiency or communication skills lol, but luckily we got our cash back straight away so it wasn’t too bad.

Anyway after that debacle, we had lunch at my favourite sushi place near Covent Garden, then did some shopping and general browsing. It was so nice to spend the whole day with my mum :) shes the best! But we must have walked miles and miles throughout the day, so my poor body is suffering today. So I’m trying to take it easy for a while today, though so far I’ve washed and changed all the bedlinen in the house, cleaned the kitchen floor and tidied my room… wow what a glamorous life I lead! haha, but at least my mum won’t have to do it all now, so I’m sure she’ll appreciate my efforts :)

Then tonight I’m going out for drinks and our weekly cinema trip with Fran. I think we’re going to see Harry Brown which is that ganster/violent one with Michael Cane? Not really our usual type of film, but thought we’d push ourselves out our comfort zone haha! Love this girl, can’t wait to see her :)

Ok this post is a bit all over the place! So without further ado I’ll get onto some eats…

today’s breakie:

2 slices of wholewheat toast – one with peanut butter and honey (childhood fave combo!) and one with peanut butter and chopped dates! with my morning black coffee, naturlich (“obviously” for any non german speakers!). haha I’m so random but it was yummy. This was a MASSIVE challenge to have a breakfast that wasn’t oats, or couldn’t be eaten with a spoon. But I’m proud of myself for breaking out of my routine :)

morning snack:

Eat Natural peanuts, cranberries, pistachios and milk chocolate Bar! I haven’t been able to eat bars while I’ve had flu because crunchy things on a sore throat = not cool, so I was so happy to be able to tuck into this treat! I have to confess, I often skip morning snacks because I’m never really hungry enough for them, but I knew my body needed it so I made the extra effort to ignore what my mind was telling me. The bar was so packed full of dried fruit and nuts – my fave kind of bar where you can see all the ingrediants. The milk chocolate is always a bit of a challenge because ED feels more safe with dark choc, but it was delicious so who cares what ED thinks?! I would definitely recomend this bar to anyone in the UK who can get their hands on it ;)

Well thats all from me for now. My plans for tomorrow include seeing New Moon FINALLY with my mum and sister, then doing some late night shopping in town wooop woop! I love it when late night shopping starts, so Christmassy! I’m going to be hitting up Waterstones to have a looky for some of those books you all recomended me - I cant wait to start reading!

Happy Thanksgiving to all you American bloggers :D I have to admit, I don’t really know much about this holiday having never celebrated it, so here’s my question for today:

What are your Thanksgiving traditions?

I’d love to hear what you all get up to, what you eat, do etc. So give me a little insight into your family’s experience!

Love you all! <3

oink oink

So, turns out they think I’ve got swine flu. Wonderful. But I’ve been told not to worry because “it should only last about a week”. The fact that I’ve been sick for the past 10 days is a slight contradiction to this, but you know… doctors are God **insert sarcasm** (no offense to anyone who is or who’s friends/family members are doctors, I’ve just have a pretty bad record with the profession).

Anyway, I’m officially housebound until my symptoms disappear which, touch wood, will be any day now (hint hint?) But what does a girl do to amuse herself when she is confined continuously within four walls? Well I may or may not have watched the entire first season of this…

Despite my bitter feelings towards the GPs I’ve come across in my lifetime, watching this programme does make me somewhat thankful for the NHS haha.

I also painted my tootsies…

No your eyes are not decieving you… every nail is a different colour! What? I’m bored to tears here people!

Oh and I also drew a little picture

Two dogs walk into a bar… lol as you do. And yes they are drinking beer and eating popcorn. Sometimes I worry about my imagination! [Disclaimer: Please do not feed your doggies alcohol. The AA is full enough as it is already. Thank you.]

So I missed the big night out with Pippa and Fran last night :( I was so looking forward to it because a load of the boys were back from uni too, including my darling S (aka prince charming/love of my life/future father of all my millions of babies??) who I’m sure you’ve all heard me bang on about enough by now haha. Damn my awful immune system. But I think S is going to come over tomorrow to see me because he always gets so worried when I’m sick, bless him.

I’ve got my appointment with the South African Embassy on Tuesday, to get my study permit, so need to be in London for 9.30am. I live about 3 hours away so that will be another nice early start for me! I’m going to have to break my quaratine to be there anyway, so I’m thinking if I’m not better by Wednesday I’ll start faking a miraculous recovery because a) I think I may go insane if I’m couped up in a cage any longer (ok, I’m not technically in a cage but you catch my drift…) and b) I’m literally DYING to see New Moon!

To those of you who’ve already seen it, what did you think? And the big question… Team Edward or Team Jacob???

Oh and while I’m in the mood for asking questions, do any of you have any book recomendations for me? In the past week I’ve made my way through The Great Gatsby (classic) and Ben Elton’s “High Society” (very thought provoking) and I’m having trouble deciding what to read next. So suggestions are most welcome :) I’m looking for something quite light hearted and easy to read after those two.

Well I hope you all had a great weekend! And enjoy whats left of your Sunday.

Lots of love my sugarpies <3

Mothers

Breakfast: porrigde made with vanilla soy milk topped with prunes, dried apricots and craisins, drizzled with maple. Made for me by my darling mummy.

I’m sorry to say I’m still not well. I have thankfully regained the use of my voice, but my glands are still the size of golf balls (you can see them through my neck! quite amusing actually) my fever won’t budge and my throat is raw from coughing :( So needless to say I haven’t been in the mood for cooking or meal preparing – thank goodness for mummys!

There was a time when I refused to eat anything made by anyone but myself. I rejected all my mothers cooking, and didn’t even trust her to peel a carrot for me. I’m so glad things are different now! The joy on her face when I eat something she has cooked or prepared is so precious. All mothers want is to nourish their babies, so the pain I have put her through in the past by denying her this maternal instinct leaves me choked up with guilt. But all I can do now is work towards repairing the damage I’ve done to my body and give her a healthy, happy daughter!

Sometimes I lose sight of why I am doing this. Why I bother trudging on through this difficult, painful journey. And while I know recovery is something you must only do for yourself, when that isn’t motivation enough, peace of mind for my beautiful mother is. She gave me life – the least I can do is to respect that life and myself in return.

I love you mum <3

My mum and I sailing in Turkey two summers ago. Excuse the shiny face :P

****

What’s the best thing about your mum?

Hey bunnies, how was your monday?

I’m sorry to say that I STILL dont have any voice! Though my head is feeling a little better I must say. I often get colds but this bug has hit be bigtime; even after 3 days of being practically locked in the house by my darling mother, I’m still completely and utterly drained. I’m going to the doctors again later today because the antibiotics have done diddly squat and I reeally want to be better by the weekend because… my sista from another mista, Pippa, is coming back from uni for the weekend! woooooop! Haven’t seen her in months so Fran and I are so excited!! We’ve planned a massive girlie night out for saturday – can’t fricking wait :D be prepared for more embarrassing drunken photos haha.

 Thanks for your suggestions on soft foods to eat. Of course I opted for soup a lot of the time…Mummy’s green lentil and butternut soup. Nom.

And as soon Jee mentioned smoothies, I had to get the smoothie maker out. Why didn’t I think of this before?! This glass of goodness was yesterday’s afternoon snack…

Ahhh so good! Banana, hazelnut butter, date smoothie! Topped with granola, which I immediately realised was a mistake because the crunchiness was like a cat ripping its claws down the back of my throat… nice! But the smoothie itself was amazing. Didn’t want it to end!

So yeah, today I’ve got a doctors appointment this afternoon, and I’ve convinced my mum I’m well enough to go out to the cinema with Fran tonight, so that will be fun. Think we’re going to see An Education. And then tomorrow my mum and I have to go to Wales to get my passport renewed so its valid for my study permit, so will have to get up super early… could be interesting ;) I’m not what you would call a morning person lol, unlike some cuties I know! But you have to wait around for 4 hours after your appointment and then go back to see them, so I’m thinking 4 hours of shopping! hahaaa I love shopping with mummy’s credit card in tow ;)

So that got me thinking…. its like only 5 weeks away from Christmas now! And to be honest I’m not feeling festive at all. Usually I’m way more excited by this time! So to get my feeling more christmassy… Whats on the top of your wish list? Who will you be spending your time with? I’d love to hear your plans for the holiday!

Hope you all have a beautiful day my lovies.

Much love.

xo

ps, any chocolate lovers out there? (who am I kidding?!) check out this chocolate covered giveaway! and make sure you check out operation chocolate covered kindness while you’re at it if you haven’t already :)

My Sunday…

Today I admitted defeat and took a day to recoup. My flu and throat infection is showing no signs of mercy, so I am honouring my body and giving it the rest it needs. Feeling all over the place as my body never reacts well to anti-biotics, but hopefully I’ll be on the mend before I know it.

 

+curled up in a quilt

 

+watching breakfast at tiffanys

 

+writing To Do lists

 

+drinking copious amounts of chai tea

 

+lusting…

+wondering what I should eat for dinner that is soft on the throat - theres only so much soup one can eat in the course of a week. ideas welcome :)

 

+wishing I could speak!

 

***

Darling Maya tagged me in this autumn foods survey <3

1. favorite variety of apple? braeburn

 

 2. apples dipped in..? cashew butter and maple, or hummus

 

 3. favorite way to enjoy pumpkin? gotta follow the crowd with pumpkin oaties – my fave is with cinnamon/ginger/nutmeg, toasted pecans and dates.

 

4. favorite soup? with crackers or bread? homemade spiced butternut. with lightly toasted wholemeal pita bread  

 

5. do you eat orange foods all year round? mais oui! I am practically orange myself ;) I eat carrots every day without fail, and eat butternut and sweet potato all year round too

6. most used spice in your autumn cooking: cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg

 

7. you are baking some homemade bread, what flavor combination of bread would you like to make? spiced pumpkin & raisin or banana date

 

8. favorite autumn vegetables and ways to eat it? brussel sprouts roasted with nutmeg, pumpkin in soups/stews/oats

 

9. hot chocolate, hot cider, coffee or tea? oh goodness, there is no way I could choose between them! strong black coffee in the morning, chai/gingerbread/roiboss(south african) tea throughout the day. never had hot cider, but on a night out I am partial to a cider&blacks (or three ;) ) and in the summer i love pear cider

 

10. favorite seasonal dessert? my mummy makes a mean apple and blackberry crumble made from the fruit we grow and pick :) and I’d love to try pecan pie.

 

11. lets make a fall stew! pick any 6 ingredients to create your one: butternut, red onion, carrots, chickpeas, brussels, curry spices

 

12. pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, walnuts or almonds to snack on? to eat raw, I prefer cashews and pistachios

 

13. popcorn flavor/seasoning? not a big popcorn lover – I always used to hurt my teeth on the kernels lol

 

14. bowl of hot cereal you have been wanting to try: Maggies brown rice porridge! 

 

15. post a link to a recipe that you recently bookmarked: Poached Pears with Ginger Pecan Florentines!

I tag Katie, Neela and Julia

Love you all

xo

ps. please check out Operation Chocolate Covered Kindness - this girl is too amazing so lets all show our support!

… yours truly.

I’m so sorry for neglecting you this week! I’ve just been super busy and super ill (for future reference; not a good combo). Thank you all so much for your kind words on my last post. I ended up taking another trip to hospital because my blood pressure got so low and I was really dehydrated, but luckily I did start to feel a bit better after a few days. I think I’m going to take your advice and talk to my doctor about it though, and hopefully they’ll be something he can do to help. Anyway then I caught some kind of yucky flu-ey throat infection. Not cool! So right now my head is throbbing and my throat feels like sandpaper so I can’t talk, which my family probably thinks is a blessing haha. But nevertheless, I’ve been a busy bunny this week.

So here’s a quick re-cap of my week…

*** I FINISHED MY EXAMS!!! wooooooooooop :D I had my last exam on Tuesday I think it actually went pretty well! Was better than the others anyway, which might have something to do with the fact that I got to write about shopping! haha now that was a challenging task ;)

*** I had a different breakfast. Inspired by all you lovely bloggies (Eliza, Maya, Karina) who were breaking out of your morning routines, I decided to bite the bullet and break away from my oats tradition…

I had Greek Yogurt mixed with the best honey that my mums running partner makes! (He has bee hives, how cool is that?!) topped with almond and honey granola, jumbo raisins and chopped dried figs. Figs + honey = match made in heaven! Loved this, though I have to say it didn’t beat a good warming bowl of oats. But still, its good to break out of routines and show myself that I dont HAVE to eat the same thing each morning.

*** I got offered a place in uni residence! So I now officially have a home in Cape Town starting the end of January! I’m so excited, but at the same time absolutely sh*t scared. Its all happening so quickly ahhh, I don’t know if I’m ready for it all!

*** I made oatmeal cookies… and ate one. Ok I actually ate two :D haha. My family said they were the best oatmeal cookies they’d ever had, but then again they were the only oatmeal cookies they’d ever had, so…. haha. But still they were damn good. And ED got a good kick in the arse when I ate them :)

*** I started driving again! I hadn’t been behind the wheel since before I went to South Africa, and I always get really nervous when I start up again. But I want to pass my test before I move over in January so I need to get practising. My mum is so funny when I drive, she sits there in complete silence with her hands gripped round the door handles as if shes clinging on for dear life! Then she lets out the occasional yelp or two.Bit of an insult to my driving skills really! haha she loves it really…!

*** I found these little cuties

Seriuosly how adroable can you get?! They’re little squeazy smoothies but thats irrelevant really… look at the box! God I’m a marketing companies dream, I’m such a sucker for cute packaging. But how can you resist that little wooly hat?! too cute for words.

*** I saw my therapist. Ughh. This bit wasn’t so great. Sometimes we have such good weeks together and I feel so relieved when I leave, but this time I felt more anxious/stressed out when I left than I did when I arrived. I won’t go into it too much because I’m sure you don’t want to hear me go on about how insensitive he is, but seriously some of the comments he made to me made me think ok you have absolutely NO idea how I am feeling, or there is no way you would have said that.

*** I’ve been kinda addicted to this choon and oldie but goodie

*** I applied for some jobs! I really want to get a job for the few months I have left before I go, just as something to do and to make a bit of money. So I’ve applied to some bars and restaurants who are recruiting extra staff for the Christmas period. One lady seemed very interested in me, so fingers crossed!

*** On the topic of making money, tonight I’m babysitting for my next door neighbours who have a 9 month old baby! Ahhh how adorable, I am actually in love with him. I want babies so badly haha! Seriously, if I had a husband who had enough money to not need me to get a job, I would start having babies tomorrow… I just can’t wait to be a mummy :) But there’s plenty of time for that Hannah *puts sensible head back on*

Ok I think this post is long enough now, I should really stop talking such nonsense. Now I’m off to catch up on what all you lovely bloggies have been up to this week! Keep smiling :D

Oodles of love <3

Hello chickpeas.

Sorry I haven’t posted for a while… I’ve had a really rough past few days. I feel kinda awkward sharing this with you all, but I decided my wonderful bloggies would a good bet for support and kindness while I’m feeling like this.

Every time my body gets to a bmi of 15, I start to menstruate again. Which my family and doctors think is wonderful, particularly for bone desnity and that kind of thing. Now that I’ve gained 2 lbs since my relapse over the summer, my cycle has kicked in again, but this time round something seems wrong. For the past 3 days I have literally been unable to stand up for more than a few minutes at a time without feeling exhausted and dizzy so have spent almost all my days in bed or on the sofa. On friday I blacked out for half an hour and had to go to casualty because I hit my head so bad when I fell. But the doctors just told me it was low blood pressure as always and that I needed to rest for a while. They also weighed me and it turns out those 2 lbs I had “gained” last week have disappeared so must have been water weight/hormones before my period or something.

But then if I haven’t even gained any weight yet, why has my period started again? Is it because my calories are back up again? Ughh this is so confusing and frustrating. What is going on with my body? Why is it working so hard to do something that I’m obviously not physically strong enough to cope with? I try so hard each day to honour my body and listen to it, respect it, learn to trust it… and now I feel like its letting me down. Its been triggering loads of ED thoughts, and when I feel physically weak like I do now, I find it even harder to block those thoughts out.

Its been so difficult to justify myself to eat a decent amount, having been sat or lying down all day. I just want to curl myself up in a ball and block the world out. Fall asleep and wake up a week later feeling all better.

***

I’m sorry this post has been so completely miserable. I’m finding it hard to come up with any kind of positive spin to put on this. I’ll leave you with some precious illustrations…article-0-021F2ECD00000578-49_468x334

3066786506_feba9e26cc

pooh_Fun fact: The boy Christopher Robin in the Winnie the Pooh stories was based on A A Milne’s, Christopher Robin Milne, and used to live next door to my doctor :)

***

Love you all xo.

… or rather last night was a good night

Good Evening my lovebugs! Hows it hanging?

Thanks for all your input on the fast food issue. Another speech well written I’m proud to say. My exam is on Tuesday and I’m feeling strangley confident about it. Not quite sure what I’m going to do with myself when its over though – I’ll have to find a new project to keep me out of mischief ;) I feel lost when I don’t have something to work towards. Are any of you guys like this? I think thats always been part of the appeal of losing weight; it gives me something to focus my energy on, and then get that sense of “achievment” (which of course lasts about 2 minutes!)

Well, I’ve been exhaustedd today because I went out last night with my friend Fran. Oh my gosh I had so much fun! I haven’t enjoyed myself that much for weeks. We did predrinks at my house, ventured on to a few bars then hit up our favourite club to dance the night awayyy and finally collapsed into my bed at about 3.30am! I didn’t count a single calorie all night and felt so free! I seriously must have drunk my body weight in alcohol haha! But you know what? I honestly don’t care… No matter how many calories I drank my way through last night, I don’t weigh any more today, or I haven’t ballooned up overnight or whatever other crap ED tries to tell us will happen if we break out of our routine and rules. The night would have been so boring if I’d been listening to ED and worrying about numbers. But instead I had the best time! Whenever I have times like theis its like someone is saying to me THIS is what life should be all about, and this is the life thats out there waiting for you! 

Excuse my drunk face :P Oh and don’t ask where the ears came from – there were a group of boys in the club that were dressed as foxes/dogs/cats? lol couldn’t quite work out what they were meant to be, but anyway one of the boys plonked his ears on my head when we were dancing… standard!

Well dolls, I’m going to go and catch up on some much needed rest. Oodles of love!

xo

ps, the answer to the riddle in my last post “What can go up a chimney down, but not down a chimney up?”… an umbrella! But shout out to my cutie Clay for his solution “Santa Claus” haha, loved it :D

G’day chickaboos!

How are you all on this *pleasant* day? Its well and truly chucking it down over here in the charming Cotswolds, and I’m coming down with a bitch of a cold… but all is good and I’m still smiling :D Can’t let a bit of rain and a pounding headache/sore throat combo ruin our day, can we now?

I loved hearing your three things you’d get rid of! I found it quite interesting to see how some of you would straight out erase eating disorders, while others thought they should remain in our world. I’m pleased to say that my tutor was delighted with my speech, so I felt rather satisfied with myself yesterday. I have a tendency to beat myself up about any work that I produce and convince myself it’s not good enough or that people will just laugh at it; so even though I’m not the best at taking complements, it was reassuring to get such positive feedback from my tutor.

 

Well, as I said, this mornings weather was not what you would call the most inspiring start to the day. So I thought to myself while staring forlornly out of the window, there’s only one way to rectify that…

Carrot cake oats of course! Oats cooked in chai tea, cinamon, nutmeg & ginger, grated carrot, topped with jumbo raisins and a medley (love that word!) of almonds, peanuts and cashews. Alongside a postcard of the Cape Winelands that the postie delivered this morning… its the one I sent to my parents while I was in SA lol! So only, you know, 2 months late! Though to be fair, with my esperience of the SA postal service I’m pretty impressed that it arrived at all.

Oh and, you remember in this post I was boasting about our amazing home grown pears? Well they’re ripe for picking now and um, check out this badboy….

1lb 8oz… no biggie.

 

So today I’m meant to be booking doctors appointments for medical exams so I can get the study permit I need to go to uni in South Africa. Yeah, I was meant to do it last week but have been putting it off (procrastination is an artform in which I am talented ;) ) But I’m just so nervous about it. I don’t think I’m going to be able to get an appointment with my usual doctor as he’s going on holiday for a few weeks, so it’ll be with someone I don’t know. I have no idea what the examination is going to involve or what details the medical report has to include – has anyone had to do one of these before for permits/visas/jobs etc? I’m just so worried that they’re going to turn around and tell me I’m not fit enough to go. Can they even do that? I don’t know. I feel so ashamed to admit it, but I’m tempted to kind of cheat a bit; well at the thing I can cheat on, ie the weigh in. But then would that be a massive step backwards in terms of my recovery if I start fooling the scales again? Well anyway, if I don’t get it done in the next week or so then the permit won’t come through in time. So I’ll just have to grit my teeth and bare it. Ha.

In other news, there is currently a man marching up and down the field surrounding my garden with a metal detector and a funny headpiece on. He’s getting very wet. Tres amusant… for me, not him. Oh the joys of country life and the funny folk you come across! I don’t think he’s found anything yet, but will keep you all updated (I can hear your sighs of relief from here)… you never know, he might discover some long lost Roman settlement full of treasure or something ;)

Now I need to go write my next speech for my tutor… can you tell how excited I am?? lol. This one is on the past exam question “Fast food is bad for you and bad for the world” Do you agree? Any thoughts on this? I think its quite interesting how they added “and bad for the world”, because its pretty easy to forget about looking at the bigger picture sometimes.

Oh and before I go, I’m going to leave you with a riddle… just cus.

What can go up a chimney down but not down a chimney up?

Tune in next time for the answer ;)

**LOVE YOU**

xo

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